The Big East conference has been the perfect example of a disaster film for over a year now. On Thursday, the story turned into a soap opera when Georgetown, St. Johns, Villanova, Seton Hall, Providence, Marquette and DePaul, all basketball only members in the conference, announced that they plan to leave.
One can only imagine that it would sound like this if it was playing out on afternoon television.
THE SEVEN SCHOOLS: "Big East, we can't take this anymore! You've changed!"
BIG EAST: "I know things haven't been the same over the past few months, but trust me, it will be alright."
THE SEVEN SCHOOLS: "No! No it won't. You're a fool. You are letting anyone join the conference. It's like you don't care about us anymore. Who is this San Diego State?"
BIG EAST: "Look, you know I care about you guys. You've been our rock in basketball for decades."
THE SEVEN SCHOOLS: "Then why did Syracuse and Pittsburgh leave you? And TCU, they lied and cheated on you with the Big XII. How could you let that happen? And explain why Louisville and Rutgers are leaving you?"
BIG EAST: "I was fooled by my evil twin, the ACC. Just because we couldn't make it work with them, doesn't mean we can't make it work with us.
THE SEVEN SCHOOLS: "Didn't work with Notre Dame."
BIG EAST: "Really? You had to bring them up?! It was hard to deal with the idea that their football team would never join. Besides, they were out of my league."
THE SEVEN SCHOOLS: "Now you're just making excuses! How can we believe you'll take care of us?"
BIG EAST: "Well, Connecticut is still here."
THE SEVEN SCHOOLS: "Connecticut has hated you since Pittsburgh and Syracuse said they were leaving! They've been trying to break up with you for months! But nobody else will take them!"
BIG EAST: "Please! I'm begging you! I need you now more than ever! I can't live off of UConn winning every Big East championship and spending money to fly San Diego State to New York for the tournament. They might not let us back into Madison Square Garden soon. We'll be playing in a high school gym in Brooklyn by 2016. Please don't go!
THE SEVEN SCHOOLS: "There's nothing you can do to change our minds. Goodbye Big East. If that will even be your real name in a few years."
Tune in next week for another heart stopping episode of "As the Conferences Change."